


Black, Purple, Grey, and White Stripes

by mm8



Series: MMoM [52]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Character, Asexual Clint Barton, Asexuality, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, M/M, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge 2016, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Phil and Friday are BFFs, Phil is an awesome boyfriend, Steve is from the 1940s this is not my fault, avengers kink meme, genprompt_bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6725701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm8/pseuds/mm8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony notices something interesting about Clint's costume.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black, Purple, Grey, and White Stripes

**Author's Note:**

> For day 2 of the 2016 round of mmom. Filling [this prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19994.html?thread=49315098#t49315098) at [the avengers kink meme](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com). Written for 'Daily Rituals (Morning Routines / Nightly Prayers / Meal Times)' at genprompt-bingo. First time I have written MCU? ~~Sorry not sorry.~~

They were all sitting around for breakfast watching Kelly and… who was on as her co-host today? Robert Pattinson? _'Odd choice'_ , Clint thought to himself as he chewed on his marshmallow candy cereal. It was a shame that Michael left. Why he left and how he left seemed to rip America, and some of the Avengers, apart. No one liked to see fun morning talk show co-hosts destroy each other like that.

"Hey bird-boy," Tony broke the companionable silence between the gang, his voice full of curiosity. The billionaire opted out of eating like the rest and was swiping on his Stark Phone. "I just noticed something interesting about your costume."

No one had even paused except for Clint. His spoon was hanging in mid-air and dripping milk into the bowl. "Yeah? What about it?"

"Your outfit has the same color scheme as the asexual pride flag."

Clint felt a knot in his stomach and gulped. Oh fuck, he could choose to ignore it, or tell them the truth. "Yeah, that wasn't a coincidence since… I'm asexual." _Truth it was_.

The breakfast nook was flooded with so many loud questions and accusations that Clint had to turn down the volume on his hearing aid momentarily. He wasn't exactly sure who said what.

"Is it true?"

"How does that explain Coulson?"

"I thought he was with Natasha?"

"If he's with Coulson doesn't that make him gay?"

"What are the colors of their flag?"

"What's asexual?" That was Steve. Of course it was.

Bruce smiled gently at Steve. Clint missed the beginning of the scientist's explanation because his hearing had been on so low and he had to adjust it. "---one who doesn't have any sexual desires or feelings."

Steve scrunched up his face in confusion. "What? But… how? I mean it's that against human nature? Have you ever tried having sex?"

Clint flushed under the very personal question. "Um, yeah. A couple times. But I-- I never liked it."

"Maybe you haven't met the right person," Steve offered genuinely. 

He flinched at the question. It was one that had been asked far too often.

"That's not how it works, Steve," Bruce stepped. "Clint can't choose to be asexual. Just as much as you chose to be straight or Tony got to chose to be bisexual."

_Thank you, Bruce._

"Okay, well, did this get invented after I was in the ice? I don't think there was such a thing when I was a kid."

_Oh Jesus fucking Christmas._

"I am curious however, medically speaking. Where you ever molested or raped as a child?"

_Well strike Bruce's one good comment._

Tony glanced up from his Stark phone for a second to comment. "It's kind of a waste, you know? Since you are so hot, bird-boy. Tell me, do you jerk off?"

Suddenly, Phil's voice interrupted the conversation. His tone was strong, bold. "Gentlemen."

Everyone looked around to find that Kelly and Robert were no longer holding adorable kittens on the TV screen, but instead the morning television show had been interrupted by Agent Coulson. He was dressed in his usual S.H.I.E.L.D. suit, and what was behind him indicated that he was on board the Bus. "I would _very_ much appreciate it if you left my boyfriend alone. His sexuality, sexual habits and his relationship with me is frankly none of your concern."

Tony stood up defensively pointing at the TV. "Hey, New Fury, how did you get access to my house?"

Phil grinned that all-knowing smile of his and put a finger to his lips. "That's for me to know and for you to find out. Clint," he turned his head slightly to the left to aim his question at the person he desired. "Dinner date on _Friday_? That little Italian place on East 64th?"

Clint nodded, dumbly. Pride filled his chest. Damn, he had the best boyfriend in the entire world. 

The TV switched back to Kelly and Robert interviewing Johnny Depp about the upcoming movie Alice Through The Looking Glass. 

"Well," Thor spoke for the first time during the discussion. He had been preoccupied with eating three boxes of S'more pop-tarts and working his way to his fourth. "If you make Son of Coul, pleased, then I am pleased, my friend." The Asgardian slapped him on the back. "You are very lucky to have him."

Everyone else nodded in agreement and light conversation resumed as they returned to watching the morning show. Clint was in his own little world, feeling extra special and prideful. Some of his team would still have questions (especially Steve, poor guy), but they were accepting. That was enough. It was more than enough that he had Phil in his life. 

It wasn't Kelly and Robert Pattinson were waving goodbye that Tony slammed his hands down on the counter-top. " _Friday_!" he yelled. "Goddamnit Coulson!"

**Author's Note:**

> * Kudos are amazing and I will never stop asking for them, but getting comments, actual feedback from readers means so much. Taking five seconds out of your time can really make my day.
>   
> 
> * You can follow me on [tumblr](http://mm8fic.tumblr.com/).
>   
> 


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